Can i not drive my cunt home
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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