So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
