she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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