I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Do vagina's smell?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
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