yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
