Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
