Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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