You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
