Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
