I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
