oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
im six kinds of drunk right now
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
