i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wish life had little blips of pornography
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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