I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
