She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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