he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
