He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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