imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
