Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
