I just cut my nipple shaving
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
