there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
