i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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