dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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