I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize