so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize