If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
