Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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