Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
