First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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