jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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