yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
