i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
