all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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