I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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