Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
