You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
