I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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