what day is it and did you see me today?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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