Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
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all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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