Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
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and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
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wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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