Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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