TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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