i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
