shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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