I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize