god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My feet surprised me
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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