Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
