Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
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