just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
