i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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