I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
