I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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