with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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