I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
