If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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