Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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