So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
