I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
