Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Do vagina's smell?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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