i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize