Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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