I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
