Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Farmville is her only friend.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
