i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
