if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
